Till about 20 years ago, the word ‘stress’ was only a term in Science. It was not a part of our conversations to refer to our state of mind. Even during those years we worked as hard as we are working today, situations were equally challenging as they are today. Yet we never said “I feel stressed”. Slowly we started using it commonly as an emotion to describe our state of mind. We like to say that we are stressed, as an indicator that we are working very hard, even going above and beyond our regular duties. Let us check our understanding about stress.

We are originally happy, peaceful and powerful beings. Stress is a result of our creation of wrong thoughts. It is an emotional pain that indicates that something in us needs to change. But seeing everyone around us also going through stress, we tend to believe that experiencing a little stress is fine, natural, obvious and common in today’s times. That is not true. Stress has an impact on our physical and emotional well-being. It impacts our efficiency, memory, decision making ability and reduces our performance. Hence, any amount of stress is damaging.

In Science, STRESS is equal to PRESSURE divided by RESILIENCE.

Applying it in our lives:

PRESSURE = Our Situations (like targets, deadlines, exams, goals, issues in health, relationships)

RESILIENCE = Our Inner Strength (like purity, peace, power, happiness, bliss, wisdom, love)

Therefore STRESS is equal to OUR SITUATIONS divided by OUR INNER STRENGTH.

So when we increase inner strength, we decrease pressure and hence reduce stress. We become stable, peaceful and happy beings. But when our inner strength is low, even a small pressure creates high stress.

Our first responsibility in any situation is to take charge of our state of mind by increasing inner strength. It is the only entity in our control and not the situation, and gives us the power to face any situation.

The world as we experience it has been seen in dichotomies – us and them, rural-urban, literate-not literate, rich-poor, developing-developed, white-black, have-have not, men-women etc.  the schism that we experience outside is also tearing us apart inside.  The seamless continuum that we find in nature on land, water, air and sky is a reminder of the fact that we all rise and fall, flourish or get annihilated together. This is true of all of us, the continuum of energy that is Human Being.

The continuum of that which can be seen (body), that which makes it work (mind) and that which is the energy which propels it in a direction based on certain eternal laws, truths and values (consciousness/soul) is the complete truth about us.  Incidentally, it also is the basic principle of being healthy in which the holistic and complete utilization of all that we are is empowered by the person to become Heal-Thy.  (Healing Yourself)

Psycho-spirituality refers to the integration of principles of the Psyche/Mind to realign itself with the powers of the Soul.  It refers to the fact that we cannot exist in isolation and ultimately our internal processes: thought, emotions, memories, habits and personality are also linked to the qualities of the soul like peace, bliss, being light etc. to seek harmony within and around.  It not only empowers us but is also useful for day-to-day living, managing stresses & interpersonal connections and seek self-actualization.

Psycho-Spirituality also is the need for humanity seeking and getting relief from day-to-day distress and strife to managing distress to treating disease and disorder as well as be a becon of light in a troubled world.  The ‘In Sight’ comes from concentration on what is of essence in life and self-thought, emotions and interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships and having a plan for this journey.

The psycho-spiritual aspects of life to be applied on day-to-day may seem daunting in the beginning but each one of us is actually going through it always.  It may come when we are in a crisis or things are not going our way, we or someone close to us is going through a life threatening situation or are going through an existential crisis or are looking for peace/happiness/harmony/healing/love or nurturing.

Stress may happen if a person, society or nation is in a flux.  The mind becomes disturbed and tries to seek answers, usually that which involves changes in the external world.  However, the process of change and the ability to change can only happen within ourselves.  The changes in lifestyle (sleep, food, exercise, time management, weight optimization etc.) are important but a deeper level change towards thoughts, stress free sleep, reduction of weight of past mistakes or future apprehensions, exercising the will towards peace and happiness will bring about a lasting change in the individual.  The shift in consciousness of the individual can have a cascading effect on others around, at home, work and society at large.

There is a subtle shift that is happening around us across the world.  The solutions being sought have to help the human race or we would perish as a species.  The spiritual practices of prayers, meditation, yoga, tai chi, quigong, energy healings and many others are getting accepted across cultures.  Contemplation, reflection and visualization as tools are no longer useful for self-growth but also for psychosomatic illnesses and psychological problems.  The ability to internalize, practice regularly and using it daily to turn obstacles into opportunities, distress into de-stress and difficulties as just a bend and not the end of life make the psycho-spiritual toolkit a major life skill for all across cultures, age groups and levels of literacy or socio-economic status.

Soulful Saturdays will bring together learning from the ancient texts, contemporary wisdom and their applications in everyday life for a stress free life of purpose, growth, self-actualization and ultimately a New You.

We all want freedom and independence but is it only about having our own house, our own room, our own money and our own decisions. We all seek political, financial, physical and social freedom, but after having it all, are we truly independent? Let us explore our emotional freedom today. To experience independence, a good starting point is to identify our dependencies. If there is anything for which we say ‘I cannot do without’ or a person for whom we say ‘I cannot live without’ or a sanskar for which we say ‘It’s not in my control’, then we are emotionally dependent.

Our basic list of dependencies would include – Mobile, Internet, Social Media, Television, Coffee, Alcohol, Smoking, Particular types of Food, Shopping etc.

A little more checking will reveal our deeper attachments and dependencies –

1. People and Situations should be my way
2. People’s Approval and Appreciation
3. My opinion is right and yours is wrong

… we can complete the list with all those things for which our mind gets disturbed.

Let’s ask our self do we get hurt or angry always? The answer will be Depends on the person who made the mistake … Depends on what they did … Depends on how they behaved. We believe that our emotions are dependent on who they are and what they did. The truth is it Depends on our state of mind and the response we create irrespective of who they are and what they did. We are enslaved by our own belief systems and it is time to free our self and awaken to a new way of thinking and living.

In-Dependence means to be dependent only on our inner qualities and powers to respond to any behaviour or situation. In-Dependence means we have the power to give blessings to those who betrayed us; we can share and care for those who rejected us; we can co-operate with those who are jealous of us; we can be calm and soft with those who are shouting at us. Let’s create a new belief system – People and situations have no connection to my response. I have the choice and the power to create the right feeling and behaviour each time and for each one. I am In-Dependent.

Visualize waking up tomorrow morning, absolutely contented. Satisfied with everything – God, our life, family, food, home, job, friends, money, comforts, city. Accepting myself, people, situations, traffic, pollution, weather, as they are. Admiring the beauty and uniqueness in every speck of creation. Savoring morning cup of tea, discharging duties with a smile, enjoying every interaction, sending a blessing to everyone, relishing food, focusing only on the good, welcoming surprises, remaining hopeful even in a hopeless situation – simply living it up with faith and love. How different will my tomorrow be from my today? My quality of life will rise a few notches because I choose to change my tomorrow, and it starts with one thought – of contentment for everything I have. My thought triggers a pleasant feeling, an attitude of gratitude, right actions and soothing behavior. So I send positive energy to my body, to people and the universe, influencing all three – so my health improves, relationships become harmonious, and I contribute to world peace. If I repeat this the next day and the next, what started as “Changes in Me, Will Change My World”. Also, I am always one thought away from changing my world.

My world is not somewhere out there. It starts from within me, from my thoughts. I the being, constantly radiate my energy into the world. So if I emerge the divinity within, the world changes. If I heal someone with my love, the world changes. If I stand up for morals, the world changes. If I reconcile with my past, the world changes. When I go step out into the outer world in this state, my every action will reflect the flavor of my inner world. As angels, we are agents of change. Let us influence our family, country, and the entire humanity, one day at a time by transforming ourselves. Let our collective energy of goodness envelop the planet to bring a change and create a beautiful world full of positivity.

Spiritual wisdom teaches us that happiness is independent of our accomplishments, possessions and relationships. Yet, some days we feel pleasant, some days anxious. Some days we are enthusiastic, some days dull. This means that sometimes our feelings are not in our control. The fact is that each of us can create feelings and destiny of our choice using Thought Power. How do thoughts manifest destiny? Answer is in a simple chain moving forward sequentially from our thoughts to feelings, attitude, actions, habits, personality and destiny. Let us understand how they work.

1. My Every Thought Generates My Feeling.
   Thoughts are my creation. Every thought gives rise to a feeling, so how I feel is decided by the quality of my thought. So if I consciously create a pure, positive thought, I feel happy. Happiness is a feeling, an emotion and an experience I go through. Likewise I also experience feelings like peace, love, pain, anger. Suppose I create a thought – I enjoy working in this office.it generates a positive emotion and I feel happy. On the contrary, if I create a thought – I dislike working here, it generates a negative emotion and I feel dejected. My inner power depletes so my job feels tougher as I get weaker. Instead, if I think – I have challenges at office but will face them, my positivity helps me to overcome them.
2. My Feelings Develop My Attitude.
   My thoughts create feelings at every moment whether in my relationships, workplace or a shopping mall. Everyone is who they are, everything is what it is. But how I feel about people and situations over a period develops my attitude towards them, determining whether I accept, respect or reject them. So if I create a thought – I enjoy working in this officeover a period of time, the resulting happiness defines my attitude about my office – one of belongingness.
3. My Attitude Brings Me Into Action.
   My attitude dictates my outlook, behavior and response to people and situations. So my attitude drives my actions. Using yesterday’s example – I am an employee whose attitude towards my office is one of belongingness. This attitude brings me into action. I give my best performance. I work passionately and align with my company goals.
4. Repeated Actions Form My Habits.
   Repeating any action twice, thrice, or ten times makes it a habit. When I am a high-performing employee, I enjoy all the associated benefits. It enhances my happiness and motivates me to do better in the next task, then the next. So I get into a habit – of remaining happy, performing and succeeding.
5. Habits Define My Personality.
   I become what I repeatedly do. So all my habits combined together shape my personality. They become an integral part of my life, flowing into my behavior and guide my way through life. If I am a happy employee, it flows in my personality. In this way my happiness is not restricted to my workplace but accompanies me everywhere, leaving its impression in everything I do.
6. Personality In Action Manifests My Destiny.
   As will be my personality, so will be my every action. As will be my action, so will be the consequence of the action. That consequence is my Destiny.

Summary: This is how all elements come together – my thoughts create feelings, feelings develop my attitude, attitude comes into action, actions repeatedly done cultivate habit, habits influence my personality, and my personality scripts my destiny. Therefore I choose how I want to feel the whole day, my whole life. I decide the list of emotions to use and the ones to avoid. I have the power to write a destiny of my choice. So when I create a positive thought, it manifests a happy destiny.

A significant number of people are suffering from depression in the world today. This is a hint for us to pause and ask if we are doing enough for our mental wellness, which is directly connected to emotional wellness. If we experience stress, anger, fear, hurt, jealousy, our emotional health suffers. Basically, we are caught in these negative emotions in pursuit of happiness. Most of us begin chasing dreams since childhood and do not pause thereafter for decades, because of the biggest incorrect belief that our happiness is what we acquire — that happiness is a byproduct of our belongings. So, we seek happiness in accomplishments, possessions and relationships. Let us scrutinize these three popular but misleading beliefs.

Belief 1: Accomplishments make me happy.

Suppose I am an employee who knows that it takes two years to be promoted as a manager, I sincerely work for it. But my own conditioned thought often reminds me – I will be happy when promoted as a manager. So I do not permit myself to be happy today, I will not permit for two more years. Some day if I sense that my promotion may not happen due to my inefficiency, issue with team members or a management decision, I create stress, anger and anxiety – as I believe these are not only affecting my career but snatching my happiness. I may resort to unfair means to get the promotion. So I create and transmit negativity, going into pain for two long years. If in this state I become a manager, can I be happy? Also such happiness does not last as I will focus on the next promotion, then the next…

Truth: Happiness is not in our accomplishments. It is not to be postponed until our goal is reached. Happiness is in our way of thinking along the way, while working towards the goal.

Belief 2: I can buy happiness.

Suppose I believe that buying my dream car gives me happiness, I may purchase and own the most expensive car. I have essentially bought physical comfort. While on a long drive in it, I could get one phone call conveying an unpleasant news which finishes my happiness. If my car gave happiness, happiness would stay despite the call. Even after the call, my car continues to give physical comfort and my physical body is comfortable. Since happiness is an emotional comfort, it disappeared when I (who is looking for happiness) went into pain after the call. Why do we feel happy upon buying a car? Because when we create a thought – I bought my dream car it generates a feeling of happiness. So we used an object (car) as a stimulus to create a response (positive thought).

Truth: Let us not purchase objects seeking happiness in them. Everything physical is designed to give physical comfort. Happiness is an emotional comfort.

Belief 3: Family and friends give me happiness.

Oscillating between acceptance and expectations, our relationships are getting strained. We focus on what to get from relationships rather than give. Our expectations from each other is getting long. We are accepting people only when they, speak, behave as per our needs. If I equate my happiness to others obeying me, it cannot last. No sooner than someone obeys the first time, I hand out my next expectation. So happiness leaves me at this point, only to return if the person obeys again. Else I get upset. People have their definitions of rights and wrongs, so setting expectations will always hamper relationships and ruin happiness.

Truth: No one can make us happy or sad. Happiness is our emotion, our internal creation regardless of quality of our relationships.