The constant throbbing in my head, the uncontrollable shivering of limbs, and irregular breathing. Many people suggested talking and sharing my feelings with others will help. It did to an extent, but I wasn’t comfortable opening up to people about my problems. I started looking for other options to keep myself busy and do something productive.
I always had this weird fascination for mandalas. I could watch them for hours and find peace. Slowly I started coloring them, and it helped. Painting mandalas help me in reducing my anxiety as it requires more control and patience. In a way, they make me self assess my progress as well.
More shabby and messy coloring means I’m yet to control the trembling hands. It acts as a vent at times. My defense mechanism makes me choose bright colors while my hands automatically go towards dark colors first. I find the process very peaceful and eventually. I can feel my breathing coming back to normal.
– Ankita Kumari